We welcome you to read these heart warming testimonies from our Brothers and Sisters who have experienced life changing spiritual conversions. These individuals are sincere Catholics reaching out to testify about the changes in their lives and has filled a humanitarian need in their lives knowing that Jesus truly loves them!
Please remember that all testimonials are the material property of The Dismas-Magdalene Project, Inc. and no part of these writings may be copied or transcribed without prior written permission . Please contact our office for more information regarding legal use.
Gary Milam
TDCJ, Ramsey I Unit
1200 FM 655
Rosharon, TX 77578
"I was asked to keep this testimony to three-minutes, so I'll be "I was asked to keep this testimony to three-minutes, so I'll be touching upon what I consider to be the biggest turning point in my entire life: my conversion to Roman Catholicism. Having been raised in an Episcopal and Masonic family, I thought the Church of Rome to be a weird sect of Christianity. After my incarceration in 1977, I fell victim to the indoctrination of anti-Catholic periodicals, such as those from Chick Publications. And so I spent twenty years bouncing from Agnosticism to Southern Baptist and finally, I returned to my roots in the Episcopal Church. So desperate was my search for spiritual truth, I even investigated the religious half-truths of Islam and Buddhism. They do have half the truth, but not the whole truth.
In 1995, I had an encounter with a friend that planted the seed of conversion! I had been giving another inmate, Norman, a difficult time about his attending the Catholic RCIA classes on the unit. I harassed Norman unmercifully about what I felt were the evils of the Catholic Church. "Buck" just accepted my accusations with patience and a smile. He answered me in such as to challenge me to do something I had not yet done. I had never sincerely investigated what Roman Catholicism said about itself. I was in for a surprise! I began to read Church history, compared it to all the Bible passages, the early Church Fathers, the New Catholic Catechism and after a while, I began to attend Mass! As a prejudiced Protestant, I was shocked to discover a very familiar Liturgy. By this time, I started really questioning nearly all my preconceptions and my theological beliefs. The turning point for me came during a Catechism class taught by a Catholic volunteer name Mike L. He spoke on John 6. I came to the stunning realization that Catholics were right! That I can certainly "believe" in Jesus, but Jesus Himself is truly present in His Body and Blood, the Blessed Sacrament.
At that moment, I was given the grace to accept and believe in the trans-substantiation as fact, not fiction. Yet, something else happened. Another bitter/sweet fact became apparent to me: much of what I formerly and personally believed about God, much of my theological formation was a half-truth! I had to admit I had been persecuting the very truth I'd been searching for, for so long. On that Saturday morning, the scales (figuratively) fell from my eyes. It was then that my real search for the whole truth began through scripture, reason and sacred tradition. I found a spiritual home that has never ceased to leave me awestruck every time the Eucharist is raised at Mass! I found the one Church able to travel cross all languages and cultural barriers. I was also blessed to discover a new sense of peace, and a secure faith that previously eluded me for better than two decades. On July 4th, 1998, I was confirmed into full communion with Christ's true church: The Holy Roman Catholic Church.
Today, forty-one of us begin a new and hope-filled spiritual odyssey. I fervently pray that this new association of The Brothers of St. Dismas will foster a sense of community and brother hood among its member Brothers that will last a lifetime. I hope we will some day receive Rome's blessing as a true Religious Order. Most of all, I hope God and Holy Mother Church will use us Brother of St. Dismas in such a way as to bring the Light of Christ's Faith, His Hope, His Love and Mercy to a sick and disillusioned world. Let the Brothers of St. Dismas prove to the world that no man is irredeemable, no matter what he has done in the past. Let us Brothers imitate the Good Thief in his simple, changed attitude of genuine repentance, and his joy in intelligently accepting Jesus' Divine Grace. It saved him; He can save us." (Gary is now released and living in San Antonio, TX.) X X X
Update December 2006
Gary writes: "After a rough bout with unemployment, I stayed close to my Catholicism values. Jesus has blessed me with a very good paying, responsible job with daily operations for a multi-million dollar, multi-state roofing company. I am very active in the Knights of Columbus council...with my second term as treasurer. I am also active with the ACTS Retreat movement...and am a team member for upcoming events. I am married to a wonderful wife and friend. Both of us are Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist. I have been encouraged by my priest-pastor to pursue the Deaconate. Although I am not being lead right now to activity in the Dismas Project, I have been helping releasees get jobs and I do some counseling. Through the merciful graces of Jesus and His Blessed Sacrament, I have beaten the odds. I entered the penitentiary at the age of 21 and spent 26 years incarcerated. I have been out 4 1/2 years. I am a 4th degree K of C and am respected by my parish community. I take absolutely no credit. It is all God and His merciful forgiving Love. Hang in there, keep up the prayer life! God bless. Your Big Brother in Christ, Gary Milam." XXX
Tommy M. Pickard #630545
TDCJ, Ramsey II Unit
1200 FM 655
Rosharon, TX 77578
March 2002:
"Like many prisoners, my youth lacked any understandable form of love and was filled with abuse. I was asked to leave home as a young teen and quickly learned the tools of survival. I became a master at manipulating others by invoking their emotions of compassion or fear.
As a young teenage alcoholic, my life was centered around survival and self enjoyment. At twenty one, I fell in love with a wonderful woman and was soon married. God blessed us with three fantastic children of whom I love with all my heart. Like most parents, I wanted only the best for my children and had no idea how to provide them with just the basics they really needed. The main problem was that I hated myself on the inside. I hated who I was, what I had been, and the things I had done in my past. Believe me when I say: " You can't show love if you don't know or understand what love is, and it is almost impossible to give or show consistent love to others when you hate yourself." I simply used everybody.
At thirty five, I was arrested and my wife chose this opportunity to escape my control, my manipulation, and my abuse. Three months later, devastated and alone I accepted a fifteen year sentence. I returned to my jail cell, sat down and called on God. I cried. I begged. And surprisingly, I felt God "talking back" to me!
In only moments, God showed to me how all my lies, abuse and deceptions had hurt every person who had cared about me or tried to help me. I had to envision how much I deserved to be alone and going to a real prison. God then opened my mind to two paths I could freely take. I could continue on the road that brought me nothing but pain and destruction, or I could allow God to work in me and with me, and one day become someone I could like and be proud of." X X X
January 2002
"As I begin this witness to what the Lord has done, and is doing in my life, I feel like I should tell you about myself. I am 35 years old. And was born and raised from the cradle to be a devout Catholic. I was Baptized, received First Communion, and Confirmed in the wealthy St. Monica Parish of Dallas, TX Catholic Diocese. My parents divorced when I was young; but my mother was so concerned that I be trained as a Catholic she had it stipulated in the divorce papers that my father should agree for me to continue attending Catholic schools.
All that being said, I have not been a good son, nor a good Catholic. My mother and step-father have never given up on me, though. I have not been a good husband to either of my two wives. I have not been a good father to my beautiful daughters. For the 10 years, since my first daughter was born, I have been in and out of prison...where I currently am again. I do love my children, I love my mother and step-father. I still love my ex-wives; they are still both great friends and parents to the children. And most of my friends have not given up on me in spite of my wrong decisions, because they say they see good in me.
I relate all this because two yeas ago I made a wonderful discovery: no matter how many horrible mistakes you make, Jesus never gives up on you, nor on me for that matter! About 2 years ago this time, I was lost. I had no direction, no feelings, no beliefs, no anything accept selfish me. My life was spiraling out of control. I will tell you this, I have never stopped praying, but my prayers were by rote. There was no personal thought or feeling behind it. But, one night, I was alone, lost and confused, and couldn't sleep. For some reason, I got on my knees for the first time in 20 years. I had abandoned my Catholic roots way back when, but now on my knees I prayed: "Dear Lord, I have lost complete control of my life, and I am just lost. I ask You, Dear Jesus, come into my life & reclaim Your vessel, me. And please be the Captain of my heart & guide me to where You want me to be." Then a calmness, a peace I haven't felt in years came over me. I slept like a baby that night.
For the next year I could really feel the changes being made in me, and I started to feel good about myself; yet, I still felt something was missing. In prison we often transfer, and I was sent to Ramsey II in Rosharon, TX. One morning, as was my usual day, I got up to go to recreation. It was already 90 degrees hot, and for some reason, as I walked by the Chapel here, I turned away from recreation and into the Ramsey II Chapel of Hope to sit in the pew. My traditional Catholic training came back as I genuflected, crossed myself, and knelt down to pray. After prayers, I just sat back & enjoyed the peace of that Chapel. Peace, as I'm sure you can imagine, is invaluable in any prison.
After a while the Catholic Chaplain came up to me & I spoke to him & for some reason I asked him if he knew how I could get a rosary. He said he just happened to have one in his pocket & gave it to me, and told me I should stay for Catholic Service. I did; and I have never looked back! The Lord has guided me back into my long-lost, Catholic roots. The Chaplain turned out to be a Deacon who helped my spiritual growth so much within the Church Sacraments in the last 10 months. I'm a changed man. I have now found what I was looking for, that "something missing" is back. I am so comfortable and at peace. I am a member, and proud to be, of the new Brothers of St. Dismas, a Catholic Fellowship group that the Deacon has started to recuperate our lives in Catholic values, and to help one another here in prison, and in the free world as Catholic Christian men.. I am learning to be responsible and help myself.
I am writing all of this, and do hope it inspires you. Believe me, if the Lord can forgive and change me, and He has, He cam and will forgive you. I don't know for sure where I'm headed when I get out of here, but I know I will love the Lord Jesus, and He will guide me to where I need to be. Probably in my home Catholic parish serving all who the Lord brings my way. I didn't write all of this for pity, I want you to understand. The Lord works when you let Him into your life. He will help you.
In closing, my prayers are for you. Feel free to contact any of us in BSD for needed prayers. I would love to hear your uplifting stories. I also ask that you pray not only for yourselves and your needs, but for the Corrections Ministry of Gal-Hou Diocese, Bishop Fiorenza, Fr. Ron Cloutier, for us and our Deacon Bob Leicht and his family, for the Catholic Brothers of St Dismas, for all my family and friends. I tell you all this in hopes that you too can feel the love of the Lord though my witness, and grow strong in your Catholic Faith. Thanks, good luck, and God Bless you!"
Yours in Christ,
Lee Harrison, BSD
William Bishop
TDCJ, Ramsey I Unit
1100 FM 655
Rosharon, TX 77583
"This testimony is a witness to God's Work in a relapsed Catholic within an unusual setting - inside a Texas prison - a message to all of an unexplained recovery from a serious physical injury, and the miraculous saving of a spiritually lost soul.
I was born and raised in a Catholic household in South Texas. However, in my teens I turned further and further from my faith until I was no longer a member of any Catholic community. I enlisted in the US Navy in 1973, and spent nine eventful years seeing the world. While working the flight deck of an aircraft carrier, I was run over by a jet, seriously injuring my upper spinal chord. This became a cause of pain, discomfort, gradual deterioration and paralysis as part of my life from that time on. I committed a crime in 1989, and was sentenced to forty years in TDCJ. My spirituality and belief in God's Goodness was non-existent; my behavior accurately reflected that loss. But, I was a "tough guy, for sure. So who needs God!" Religion was only for the weak who couldn't deal with the brutal realities of life in a maximum security prison day-in and day-out. Still,, by 1995, I was experiencing pain and numbness spreading down my shoulders, losing finger dexterity.
I had a frightening, developing problem - but like my "not needing the Catholic Church" - it was a problem I was sure I could deal with ...a couple of aspirin, some bootleg pain pills, things would clear up, I'd be OK. By 1998, my pain became all encompassing and it took all my available energy in a "tough guy way." Neither cortisone shots, nor steroid treatment, therapy massages, and remedies short of neck fusion could alleviate the pain and loss of dexterity. I was transferred, to my dismay, to the Ramsey II Unit in the summer of 2000 to be closer to John Sealey Hospital in Galveston, TX. I was losing the use of my hands, and I looked like Igor shuffling up and down the Unit Halls, living on Tylenol III pills, and not living well.
By 2002, I was out of options and submitted to metal-surgery on my neck. The neurologist told me that he figured I'd gain back "up to 50%" mobility. He'd done a good job; that was the best prognosis he could envision. Although I was a defeated man, unable to function, that was not God's prognosis! The first day back from the hospital, the Catholic Chaplain on our Unit walked down the run of our cell block and saw me...stitches, staples, neck brace and all. He didn't know me; I'd been nowhere near the Unit Chapel. He certainly saw my pain and uneasiness, but he took the time to listen, and offer me encouragement and prayer at the time I needed it most. A Kindness overwhelmed me, and I truly believe the Holy Spirit came back to me right then and there. I didn't fully realize it then, but now I know it! The Chaplain invited me to stop I at Church service sometime when I got feeling better! He seemed to know I would feel better! But I still wasn't sold on the whole idea. I figured, maybe a few prayers wouldn't hurt me any, and so that day, after the Chaplain left, I began to pray, and pray, and pray.
The first day! I was moved from "hard to get around" cell block into lower security dorm living. Man, this prayer stuff might just be something here ..I began praying every day, for recovery, for family, for other prisoners, and I thanked God for the Deacon's message to me from His Holy Spirit. And I felt instant recovery begin! Slowly at first, for sure - after 7 yrs. of constant pain & debilitating damage, I noticed improvement in only ten days, confirmed by my John Sealy doctor who was pleased with his own medical results. Upon my return to the Unit, the feeling of fear was in me, but I attended my first Catholic Service in over 30 years. It was a beautiful, peaceful Word and Communion Service! I knew something had changed in me. God was back in my life. Not that He had ever left me, but, I'd sure left Him. And for the first time in 14 years of incarceration, I felt a ...Peace that I didn't know could exist in here.
Our Unit has a fellowship of Catholic convicts called The Brothers of ST. Dismas. Well, this Church thing went so well, I thought I'd do good to check it out. I attended and listened, talked and became overwhelmed by their sincere desire to live their lives better as good Catholic Christians. Its powerful stuff, here! And most importantly, it's for real in the Brothers of St. Dismas. I found what had been so lacking in my life - a true belief, true trust in God and a fellowship glowing in the Holy Spirit. The Deacon invited a Catholic priest to hear confessions & say Mass. I went to general confession and came out crying, and nobody thought I was weird, or weak, or anything like that. I was congratulated and welcomed back to the Catholic values of old. My words here don't begin to describe the feelings I've had and the change that has come over my whole life.
I have since returned to J.S. Hospital for 4 follow-ups, and each time I'm proclaimed as improved prognosis from a "50% recovery at best," to maybe 75%, more tests and 85%, the doctors tell me it appears I will make a total 100% physical recovery! Praise God! And they, too, are very excited about that. My surgeon brought up my case at a national conference for neurologist last month (Sept) to speak about my remarkable, almost unbelievable recovery. But, I'm here to say that my spiritual recovery has been the true miracle in all of this, God's Gift of Grace. God sent me to Ramsey II, where I did not want to go, He led the Chaplain/Deacon down our cell block run that lonely day, and its been an incredible beginning . I cannot express my gratitude enough to my fellow Catholic Brothers of St. Dismas.
They are beauty, and hope, and faith, and charity in what had been an ugly experience as "guest of the state." I thank God daily, for sending His Holy Spirit to me by the touch of Deacon Leicht leading me to the Church Sacraments, and I know and feel that more good things are ahead of me. I lost the need to be "the tough guy." And I am going to be a much better man for it. Thank You God for all Your Graces and for sending your Spirit of Light back to my soul when it was lost in the darkness and didn't even care. I long to serve You in the Church with my Brothers of St. Dismas. St. Dismas, pray for us all!"
William Bishop, BSD
X X X
